Your landing page isn't
converting.
We'll tell you why.
Drop your URL
Paste any landing page. No signup, no setup, no friction.
AI dissects it
Our engine reads structure, copy, CTAs, trust signals, and conversion flow in seconds.
Get the roast
A brutally honest report with specific fixes you can ship today — ranked by impact.
First impression audit
What a stranger feels in the first 3 seconds — distilled into one sentence.
Brutal roast
The kind of feedback your friends are too polite to give you.
Conversion killers
The specific things bleeding signups, ranked by impact.
Homepage rewrite
A new headline, subheadline, and CTA you can ship today.
- 94stripe.com"Annoyingly good. Steal their hierarchy."
- 91linear.app"Vibes carry, but the demo does the closing."
- 88vercel.com"Clean, fast, and aggressively on-brand."
- 85airbnb.com"Emotion first, logic second. Works."
Is this actually useful or just funny?+
Both. The roast is a vehicle; the fixes are real, specific, and ranked by impact.
What does it analyze?+
First impression, hierarchy, copy, CTAs, trust signals, SEO basics, and conversion flow.
Will you remember my URL?+
No. Nothing is stored. Each roast is a fresh, ephemeral verdict.
Can I roast a competitor?+
Encouraged. Then roast yours and compare scars.
"Most landing pages don't have a copy problem. They have a conviction problem."